The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Randomize
