3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
