ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize