I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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