Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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