Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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