after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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