oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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