I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
