What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
