i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
