dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
