no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
my shit smells like andre
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
