Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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