so that wasnt chicken after all
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
