Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
