dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
