what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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