But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
