Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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