Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We were destined to go to rehab together
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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