i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
