everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
