oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
