I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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