to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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