dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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