toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Can Purell be used as lube?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize