it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
