my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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