i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
