my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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