remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
