I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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