So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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