Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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