I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
