WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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