you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
