Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
