eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
