Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
