Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize