I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
