dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
