Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
