Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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