So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
