That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
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