check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize