god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
