tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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