I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
