drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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