So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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