if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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