That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
