So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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