Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
