a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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